when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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