How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
