I like my sex mixed with concussions.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
