we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
