Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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