Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
