jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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