ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
