What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize