Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
