i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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