WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
