did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
