"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
