I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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