The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
