Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
