i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Panties = found
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