pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
