he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
