she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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