When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
