so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
