He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
