I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
