'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I enjoy the company of your penis
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