Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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