I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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