The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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