so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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