he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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