ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
