During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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