lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
zippers are such a cool invention
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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