fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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