Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
