Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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