do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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