you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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