Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
