So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
