nut hugger
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
