What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
