so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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