when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
