I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize