My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
