I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
they need to just BURY HIM!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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