She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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