just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Fuck appropriateness.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
