could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize