mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
