and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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