Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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