lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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