Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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