so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
