i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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