If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
