I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
