hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize